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This weekend sucks. I didn’t have to work Friday and I have managed to get almost absolutely nothing done. I don’t know if I subconsciously do things like this so I have a reason to hate myself. Actually I’ve managed to do ok as far as my mood goes. Thursday night is kind of a blur. I think I did something, but I can’t remember what it is. I remember going after work and getting a new CD and a new DVD. The cd I got is called “Life in Cartoon Motion” the artist is Mika. “Love Today” was the first song by Mika that I heard. I liked it so I went looking for the video on YouTube. I found it and loved the video. Of course I wanted to watch a better quality version of the video so I went to Yahoo Music and found the video there along with a few others he has done. Lately I’ve wanted to have some small connection to everything I’m interested in. I think I’m trying to create this little web of interests that have a common thread. Ultimately I think I’m just lonely. I usually look for things and try and find gay people interested in them. I went looking for some crochet blogs recently. I was mainly only interested in the ones written by gay people. I don’t ever end up contacting or trying to communicate with anyone though. I guess I just don’t want to be rejected. I don’t know if I come off stupid or what. It seems like I need a marketing coach for every little personal interaction I have with people I don’t know well. That or I need some structure around it like work. Some starting point to relate to them. You’d think that all these interests I have would be that common ground, but I always feel like I’m a casual observer rather than an enthusiast. The DVD I got was French and Saunders. It was good, but it didn’t really put me in the fabulous “get stuff done” mood I was hoping it would. I like just about anything Jennifer and Dawn do.

Friday was pretty much a bust. Somehow I hurt my upper back when I was buttoning my pants. I’ve got to be crazy to be able to do that, but I did and my back has been bothering me since. I’m waiting for it to work itself out. I did go and have dinner with a friend around five Friday evening. We went to Freebird World Burrito. It’s just a few blocks away from my apartment. They have good food and cute guys galore. I just with I had a little more personality to meet people in public. I’m great once you get through the crusty outer shell. I enjoyed chatting with Donald though. I met him from the lab. He’s transferred to a Sam’s Club now though. We still chat here and there. He’s encouraging me to get back into school so I can stop the dead endedness of my life. Some day I think I’ll have what it takes to be a motivational speaker I just need some motivation.

Saturday has pretty much been a bust too. I’ve gone to Wal-Mart to get some groceries. I actually cooked some fish to eat for lunch. I need to cook more often to save money and eat healthier. It’s just I don’t know what my motivation is LOL. I even managed to get some cleaning done today as well. That’s has helped my mood immensely. I’m going to work on an afghan I’ve been working on for probably 5 or six months now. I think I might have it finished by next winter (I’m not exaggerating.) I’m going to post a picture. Not because I’m proud of my work or because I think it’s a good idea. I just feel the need post with different media now and then. So here it is. Comments are welcome.

I finally got the Dresden Dolls CD. I like most of it. I haven’t listened to the entire thing all the way through, but for the most part I like the sound. I have been listening to it mostly while I’m asleep or at work so it has served as background music for the most part. Some of the songs sound a little emotional. Coin-Operated Boy is my favorite, but it’s also the first song of theirs I heard. Anyway I know this is a really short post and it feels a little pathetic, but I’m trying.

When I make the 6 hour drive back home I always search the radio dial once I get out of Dallas. Last weekend I found a south asian radion station. They play a bunch of different types of music from that region. Much of it has a strong beat and lends itself to dancing. It also helps that most of the songs are from Bollywood musicals which frequently contain large musical numbers. I don’t usually dance much because I’m self concious, but I like too. Anyway here is a link to their webpage.

This is going to be a post about my musical interests. I did have it up as a page, but I realized it would work better as a series of posts under a “music” category. I like quite a few genres of music and a lot of them are diametrically opposed. For example I like some of what Nine Inch Nails does. At the same time I like Charlotte Church. Those two just don’t go together. I’ve noticed also that I can’t just dump all of my music in a player and let it play my entire library randomly. I’ve noticed I start to have quite severe mood swings when I do that. It’s great to have some happy feel good music, but when the next track is an extremely somber slow piece I start to get confused.

I don’t have a clear direction for this page. My general goal is for it to serve the same purpose as an interests section in a profile. It’s just going to be about music I enjoy though. I might use it to highlight some new artist that has an “I just discovered this” vibe. I won’t really have discovered anything, but I like to find new stuff to listen to. I like new and old at the same time. I’ve also become tired of listening to nothing but the glitzy blockbuster stuff that is being played on the radio and MTV and stuff. I like new stuff and I like a lot of “pop”, but I want to supplement that with some new and “experimental” music. I want to find music that’s artistic and doesn’t worry about being “accepted”.

Here is a short list of some artists I’m looking at. I prefer to by CD’s right now so actually getting their stuff is dependent on being at a store that sells them.
Joanna Newsom
Dresden Dolls (specifically “Coin Operated Boy”)

The hanging will take place tomorrow at sunrise. The wretched soul so closely mimicked a dotterel it was easy to capture and render punishment for its crimes. What crimes you might ask? This soul only neglected his highest duty to king and country and by so doing let settle upon the land only the most egregious grievances the blogosphere has born witness to. “What the hell are you talking about”? I haven’t posted in a while so I feel bad. I’m very lucky that tomorrow never comes or I may have been worried. I unfortunately can’t really say I’ve been busy. Last weekend I went out of town like I planned. I had intended to do some writing while I was there, but I don’t know why I ever thought that would work. I’m always pulled in a bunch of different directions there and I don’t really have time for anything that doesn’t involve someone else. Now as I’m thinking about it I wish I cherished my time alone a little more than I do. I still think I spend too much time alone, but I think I need to do more with the time I do have to myself. During the past few weeks I’ve been trying to use my free time to do something constructive. While Christine was here I managed to sew which I enjoyed. After we finished her outfit though I managed to sustain my momentum for a few days. It’s died down a bit now though. Today is Saturday and I’m planning on having some sushi and catching a movie. I’m not sure what movie yet. I’m going with Adam and we are going to try and see something independent and arty. Hopefully it will be good too, but I’m not too difficult to please. I am however very easily distracted. This is probably why I have so many things I want to do. I’ve just spent 20 minutes looking for a particular production/promotion shot for the current production of Equus in London. I didn’t really find what I was looking for though. Hopefully in the next few days and the next week I will post a little more though.

I thought I had something to talk about, but in the time it took me to open Microsoft word I got distracted and forgot what I was going to go on about. As usual I think it’s been too long since my last post. Unless I had made a post before I slept again I would think that it was too long. It seems to take me weeks to motivate myself. I’ll come up with ideas really easily, but I always want to try and do something well. Usually if I don’t feel like putting effort into it I won’t try to do it. Since I’ve started this post though I’ve got a little bit of momentum. I don’t think I’m going to be posting much this week. I’ve been working 10-hour days, which isn’t really much, but my regular schedule is only 8. It really doesn’t make a difference, but on the surface it serves as an excuse. No necessarily a good one. Thursday night I am going to drive to Arkansas. I’m taking Friday off for a little 3-day weekend. I hate the drive up there (6 hours) but getting to visit my family is important to me. I effectively will only be there for two days. As it commonly occurs I will have a limited amount of time to visit what seems like an infinite number of people. I almost always love and hate going home. I love getting to see the people I get to see, but I hate not having enough time to see everyone I want. I’m planning on spending most of my time with 3 important people: my mother, my paternal grandmother, and my maternal aunt. I’m very often worried about my grandmother. She’s incredible, but she’s also in poor health. She suffers from a myriad of maladies that on a basic level do nothing but cause constant pain. She still manages to keep her house cleaner than most people. If she gets hurt she won’t tell the doctor about it until it starts affecting her mobility. I didn’t always know this about her. She’s been through many trials in the last few years. She has lost both of her sons and her mother. I’ve tried to convince her to move to Texas and live with me, but I’m not sure it would be the best thing for her. I ask myself constantly if I should move home. My Mom thinks that isn’t the right direction for me to take. I worry about my family and I don’t feel like I can help them when they need it. The distance is actually the least of my worries. I make a decent wage and I manage to keep myself afloat. I’m improving my credit score, but I still can’t manage to keep any kind of a financial cushion. Basically this makes it where I have to worry about missing work and having enough personal/sick/vacation time to cover any days that I’m not there. Plus it does cost money to drive up there. It isn’t much, but it’s enough to be a consideration. I hate being in this position. Anyway I’m working on it. Hopefully I’ll gain a little will power when I’m spending my money and show some fiscal restraint.

I can’t believe this video. I watched it like 5 times and then I had to post it immediately. I have worked in a retail clothing store and this would like cut 1/2 the work out of it. Anyway this is just crazy. Of course I went and tried it right away and it’s still just amazing. A Maze Ing.

I haven’t posted in close to a week now. I’ve been going and doing so I’m not too disappointed. Monday a friend came over to work on a costume for Scarborough Faire. It’s a renaissance festival held about 30 minutes south of Dallas (Texas) in a city called Waxahachie. It’s in the summer so the weather is usually horrible, but it’s still fun even in the heat. I’ve been two years in a row now. I’ve dressed up both times but using the same outfit. I think this year I want to do something different, but I haven’t figured out what yet.

On Tuesday I visited Isaac. We had dinner and some nice conversation. I subjected him to some of the strange things I watch on YouTube. He is incredibly resilient to my mind control so he usually just ignores what I try to show him. Most of you I’m sure wouldn’t blame him. I watch some pretty strange stuff. I guess the secret to being able to watch most of it is low expectations. If you expect crap and get something that’s almost entertaining then you’re pleasantly surprised. If you expect something entertaining then you probably should be watching cable. That way when it’s not entertaining you can feel indignant because you are paying for it.

Wednesday I think I did a whole lot of nothing. I guess that kinda invalidates my earlier notion that I was busy all week.

Thursday I was redeemed. I didn’t do jack on Wednesday, but on Thursday Christine came over and we worked on her costume more. It took a turn from where we started, but at the end of the evening we were both happy with where we ended up. We still haven’t finished yet though. It took us a while to get started because I left work late and then I needed to go to Wal-Mart. I don’t care what you go there for or even if you have a list. You always see something that you want to look at before you go. It’s always bad especially when you really don’t have any money to spend on anything extra.

And finally we come to Friday. Christine came over again and we finished up her costume. It’s a belly dancer costume. We had a simplicity pattern to start from. What we ended up making didn’t look anything like the pattern. The differences weren’t because we didn’t know what we were doing. I happen to have my computer very close to my sewing table. So of course that means that the internet is only a foot away. We ended up searching for images of belly dancer costumes. We’ve been doing this since we started and that’s how the costume evolved from what the pattern had. We took some ideas and elements from a bunch of different styles. We were working with a budget also, but it turned out pretty good. We ended up needing to go to Joanne’s fabric store to look for a few things. We ended up only getting some metallic cord for finger hoops. These were going to be attached to the shawl we made for the costume. Christine is going to model the costume this Sunday for a group of friends. I’m going to see if she would mind letting me take a picture and post it here. If not I might make another post describing it. Anyway it’s 10 pm and I’m hungry. Taco Bueno is calling my name.

Just thought I bust out a blog about my thoughts over the weekend. Friday I went to see 300 with some friends. I liked the movie. I went to see the muscularly defined men in what were no more than briefs. I was pleasantly surprised to get a little more. The story wasn’t too complicated, but it was good. I actually liked the cinematography quite a bit. There were some really nice landscape shots with good color. The color didn’t look natural necessarily, but it was good. I think there could have been a little more skin for the gays given the setting of the movie, but oh well. After the movie we went to IHop to get something to eat. It was a fun time. We didn’t stay too long, but we dominated the atmosphere as far as noise was concerned. We were all laughing and having a good time. None of us were drinking either. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but anyway. After that (yes we even did more) we went to Wal-Mart. Walked around a little and looked at movies, a couple of us bought some nerf guns. Then we all headed home.

Saturday for me was kind of slow. I did a little crocheting and watched movies. I hadn’t had any plans for Saturday so I slept most of the time between the crocheting and movies. For the past couple of weeks now I’ve kept myself pretty busy with little hobby like activities. I haven’t made a great deal of progress on any one project, but I’ve been happy to have at least done something. I still wish I would post more, but I’ve got this feeling like every post I do has to have some great theme and world changing message. I don’t really think that I have any posts like that yet, but I like to try. I think it’s good to have goals.

Sunday I went and had brunch with a friend. We went to a place called Sneaky Pete’s. It’s in Lewisville at the marina on Lake Lewisville. It was a really good brunch. They had eggs, bacon, sausage, fajitas, salad, fruit, a few different breads, dessert, baked potatoes, cheese and crackers, and just yummy brunch stuff. There was a guy playing flute and saxophone for entertainment. It looked like he had and Ipod hooked up to a little soundboard. I was impressed with the range of music he played. It sounded like only the backup music was playing with him providing the live focus. It was a little loud at times, but I like it. It gave the place a nice atmosphere. After that I went home and fiddled around and made my crazy head picture. If you want to see it follow the “About this blog” link under my pages. At about 2 I left for my weekly D&D game over at Christine and Richard’s house. Our game went well. Liz brought stuff to make “chicken pot pies”. It was basically the pot pie filling over biscuits, but it was very tasty. I left the game about 9 and got home and fiddled around more on the computer. I hate it when I get drawn in and end up wasting a bunch of time. That is happening less now though. Well that’s all I’ve got for tonight. Hopefully soon I will get my post by email working and I’ll be able to post more. Right now it still just messes up the posts. I also need to work on a new theme. I’ve added a banner for 18seconds.org and it just takes up too much room. I’m not familiar enough with PHP to add anything yet though.

I almost forgot. I’m posting this while I’m waiting for my rice to cook. That’s why I threw it in the title.